Is it just me?
I don’t say any of this to boast; the Lord knows I have no grounds for self-exaltation. I pray every morning. No days go by without my lips offering praise to God. Before facing all that life can throw at me each day, I get on my knees and pray to my God. I start with adoration before shifting to acceptance of His will in all things. I pray for daily necessities and for the needs of those around me. Some day’s prayers are very fervent, and when I finish, I walk out the door with the sense that God heard me.
Other days, though, I feel out of tune. I feel as if I should be playing a C when a B-flat quietly fills my prayer room. As I’ve often heard others say, it feels like my prayers are hitting the wall, never really going anywhere or accomplishing anything.
My heart’s desire is to please God when I pray. I, like everyone else, have needs. I pray for those things. But my one desire, above all others, is to put a smile on Jesus’ face. I want to please Him. I want to thank Him for all He’s done and pledge allegiance to Him in every way possible. However, my words always seem inadequate; my attention is often carried off into captivity by some trivial thought. I wish I could break free.
Today was one of those days. I prayed for understanding and received no response. However, I can honestly say that as I was writing this sentence, God began to deal with me.
He reminded me of Psalms 139:1-7:
O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me; it is high; I cannot attain it. Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?
God is acquainted with our struggles. He understands our frustrations. As the Psalmist says, “Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.” Before I speak, God knows what I will say. The One who knows the “intents of the heart” is aware of my every musing (Hebrews 4:12). This is such an encouragement.
My prayers may indeed be hitting the walls, but there is One who resides both inside and outside the walls of my prayer space and my heart. How can He not hear me when He’s so near? How can He not know my desires if He knows the words I will speak before my tongue can frame them? He knows; He hears. Glory to God!